Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

Dear News Media,
I hate to tell you this, but we're breaking up. You just haven't been satisfying my needs, so I've.... gone to other sources. It just seemed like you weren't interested in me any more, always gazing at those good looking advertisers. And, I'm sorry, but I just can't deal with that kind of competition. Look at how many heads you've stepped on to get to me. You need to straighten your priorities. Iran is on the verge of civil war... and you just don't care, telling me about weight loss and pasta sauce. When my privacy was being threatened by bills like the ACTA, you just turned a blind eye, only worried about how you could get maximum covereage from your old flame Micheal. Sure, you try to bring me back with gimmick like tickers, i-reports, and EXCLUSIVE NEWS that'll be all over the next day. And you keep bringing up all your old boyfriends and their ex-girlfriend and telling me lies about them to try to make them look bad, try to impress me. And what really drove me to do this was when I realized one critical thing: to you, I'm disposable. I could stop taking all of your sweet talk, but as soon as I leave your side, you'll be flirting with 20 other people. I'm tired of it. Maybe, if you reorganize your priorities, we can be friends again. But for now, I'm done.

Sincerly
Tomato