Sunday, January 31, 2010

The Looking Glass: Episode One: Saving Private Hugo

My dad and I delve into our first Lost podcast, discussing 'sploded teachers, DHARMA beer, Hugo Relief, and pre-season predictions.



EDIT: Crud. Player's busted. Go here.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Good News/Bad News

Good news and bad news, folks.

Bad news: I'm taking a vacation from Juiced this week, mainly because of the slow news week. Any suggestions for what to do on slow news weeks?

Good news: I've seen Princess and the Frog, and will review it tomorrow!

Tomato

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Wigs Are Itchy!: A Cerebral Palsy FAQ




Y'know, readers, every time Martin Luther King Jr. Day rolls around, it gets me thinking. It gets me thinking about where we were, where we are, and where we've yet to go. We, as a nation, have come so far with our acceptance of other races, genders, cultures, and religions, and although there's certainly progress to be made on those fronts, we've come a long way, and those groups can generally sleep peacefully knowing that they'll wake up in a close-to-perfect society that accepts them. That being said, at least one group of people still have a long road to acceptance. I'm talking about disabled people.
In my day-to-day life, being physically disabled, I've come across a lot of ignorance about what disabilities like the one I have (cerebral palsy) really mean. Now, I don't blame these people for not knowing about disabilities, as most of them aren't trying to be mean. It's incredibly easy, in this day in age, to set out to honestly learn about people with disabilities, and come back either confused, misinformed, or, worst of all, empty handed. I know how hard it is to approach somebody with a disability and ask them about stuff. I've asked certain people about their disabilities, and the only thing I can think of is "will I offend them?" or "is it okay to ask them things?" or "what if I sound like an idiot?". That's why I'm doing this post, a frequently asked questions post about my specific disability (cerebral palsy). That way, you can learn what it's really like to be disabled, and not have to be embarrassed about asking somebody.

OK, I've bored you enough. Let's jump right into some questions.


1. What is Cerebral Palsy?
No, before you ask it's not the subtitle for the next Call of Duty. Cerebral Palsy, or CP, is a muscular disorder caused by lack of oxygen to the brain, usually caused by being born before you were fully developed. This lack of oxygen causes parts of the brain to be damaged, including a tiny part of your upper right brain called the cerebellum.


2. Okay, enough with the fancy words. What does this do to you, then?
Y'see, here's where it gets a bit crazy. Depending on the person, different parts of the brain gets damaged, causing different things to happen to them. Some can walk. Some can't. Some can talk. Some can't. Some can control their bladder and bowels. Some can't. It all depends on which part of the brain gets damaged.


Personally, I feel lucky. I can stand, for a while, if somebody helps me (this is hard to do, though, so I use an electric wheelchair.). I can talk. I can control my bladder and bowels.


One thing that's common among people with CP, though, is tight muscles. The best way I can describe it is like this:


You know how when you watch a scary movie and Jason leaps out from behind the door with a chainsaw and decapitates some poor guy? You jump, right? When you jump, your muscles get all tight for a few seconds, and it takes you a bit to relax. Well, imagine that that happened every day, without warning, and it took you a few minutes to calm down every time? That's CP for you. It actually doesn't hurt much, and you learn to relax yourself quickly. It's annoying, but it's not awful.


So to recap: tighy muscles, in a wheelchair, otherwise normal.


3. Do you ever wish you weren't in a wheelchair?


I'd be lying if I said I don't feel bad about it from time to time. But, y'know, it's something you learn to live with and embrace. You can't change it, so why get all sad about it? This is the way I am, so I'm going to be happy with it. I'm not Edward Cullen. I don't want to spend forever moping around about being a vampire, when I could be, like, actually doing stuff. This is probably the thing most people get wrong about disabilities. People with disabilities aren't depressed goth-emo-vampire-pity-mongers who think their lives are crap. We've got friends and family and stuff to do.


4. Do you sleep in your chair?

I always get asked this one, and I have no idea why. Nope. I sleep in a normal bed, although it's modified to raise in lower to help people lift me into it. For reference, I'm a stomach-sleeper. :)


5. Wait, for people to lift you into it?
Mmm-hmm. One of my parents usually lifts me into various places, like my bed. I'm working with a physical therapist on how to transfer by myself, though. We do have a mechanical lift on our ceiling, but that's mainly used to get onto the toilet.


6. Speaking of, how do you go to the bathroom?

We've got two bathrooms in our house. One has a bunch of wheelchair equipment, like hand-rails and a roll in shower. One's a normal one. Usually, I tell one of my parents that I have to go and we do what's called a stand-pivot transfer. That's a fancy word for lifting somebod up, pulling their pants down, and setting them onto the toilet. In case you're wondering, yes, they leave the room while I'm doing the things that one gets onto a toilet for.


7. How do you shower?

Somebody usually helps me, erm, get stuff off, and then I get into the lift. The lift lifts me onto a seperate shower chair, obviously not electric. Water, soap, etc. proceeds.


8. Ask and answer the weirdest question you've been asked about CP?
All people offended by certain vulgar things should skip the next two sentences.

Q: Do you have a penis?

A: *after recovering from shock and akwardness* Yep. Do you?


------------------

Good, you're back.


9. Have you had any surgeries?

9, to be exact, 6 of which were when I was a baby. #7 was to loosen my hamstrings and heel cord, that if left unloosened would've curved on themselves.
Grossed out people, skip this part.
#8 was "down there". Keeping in mind that I was born early, I didn't get enough hormones, and so while "things" were there, one of those "things" didn't drop.

You're back again!

#9 was a complicated spinal surgery that is too complicated to explain in a timely manner. If somebody really wants to know the minute details, ask i comments and I'll answer.


10. Any advice for people with disabilities?

Wigs are itchy, so be who you are.
I hope this FAQ has opened up your eyes to what CP really is. If you've got any questions, feel free to ask them in comments, even if they're as weird as the aforemention weird question. I'll answer every one in comments. Remember, you can comment anonomously! Even if you don't have questions, make sure to spread this post around by clicking on the little envelope icon beneath this post.
(Also, for those of you new readers who know me personally, don't use my real name in comments. Use Tomato.)
Thanks,
Tomato

Saturday, January 16, 2010

...And Those Who Read: The Boy In The Striped Pajamas by John Boyne

NOTE: I'm approximately a day late on this review.Vote in comments whether I should get punished with a chapter of Twilight.

We are but mere mortals, enticed by the siren songs of flipping pages and the aroma of ink. Whether it be in hardcover or paperback, fantasy or sci-fi, comic book or non-fiction, we scour the fringes of literature new and old, mainstream and obscure, classic or contrived. Cereal boxes and warning labels arranged and rearranged to form epics. Lexicons of words contained in every layer of our lips. It's very simple. There are those who follow...and those who read.
------------------

The Boy In The Stripes Pajamas is a horror novel. The thing is, it's not your typical throat-slash-box-cutter-serial killer horror. It's a type of horror that only has a few proponents left, a dying breed, if you will. It's the kind of horror that, instead of relying on quick shocks of panic, leaves an ever-growing mass of worry in the pit of your stomach. It's the kind of horror that isn't horrible in a physical fashion, but one that festers on the brain like a faint memory. This sense of quiet dread is what propels The Boy in The Striped Pajamas from good to great.

It's this unique perspective, of a naive six year old in what possibly is the most scary environment Earth has ever had, that sets The Boy in the Striped Pajamas apart from other stories covering the same topic. There's no anvil-level preachiness, because he's so blissfully unaware of what's happening to him. That, I believe, is where John Boyne shines in the novel. He never breaks from the perspective he's chosen solely to toss a laser-guided moral at us, the way other writers, myself included, often do. He merely expects us to realize the absurd sadness of the situation, and he knows never to tell directly.

Engaging, frightening, and tragicly heartwarming, John Boyne's The Boy in the Striped Pajamas gets four and a half pages out of five. I'll see you in two weeks as we dig into a soulful and sincere story of Vietnam, Frances O'Roark Dowell's Shooting The Moon.

Feel free to leave feedback and vote on my punishment in the comments.

Tomato

Juiced! Logo

(No, it's not "Juioced". The C's a tomato!)
Thoughts?
Tomato

Friday, January 15, 2010

Juiced! Episode 2






On this episode of Juiced!....

We ramble about racism, gab about gays, sulk over Spidey, and pay tribute to Haiti.

Feel free to respond in comments!

Thanks,

Tomato

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Observations About The US Justice System (From The Great Throne Of Thinking!)

This is going to be one of these posts that's about exactly what it says in the title, isn't it?


First of all, I hope you all had a Merry ChristmahanukahkwanzaFestivusholiday! Now, let's go down the pipes of discovery and get down to buisiness!


As a Christmas gift, my extremely nice but exponentially nerdy aunt got me a book called You Be The Jury. I'm hoping that I don't have to explain the premise to you after that incredibly cryptic title, but I'll humor you.



Each chapter contains a court case, beginning with a breif outline of the case, then giving you arguments from both the plantiff and the defendant, and concluding with three (usually drawn) pieces of evidence. Pretty basic, and not an all-encompassing deconstruction of the US Justice System, but hey, I'll take what I can get.


So, while various coagulating Christmas foodstuffs slinked their way through my intestines, I read the first case. It was about a guy who reluctantly let a golf course company set up a commercial golf course by his house, supposedly gets thunked with a ball, and sues. So I pondered for a few seconds, even before seeing the evidence, just to get a general idea of where I stood. I immediately gravitated towards a guilty verdict. Now, the question I bring you today, folks, is this: why did I immediately jump to conclusions? Assuming many of you would do the same, I guess I should ask "why do we always jump to conclusions?" I began to form a hypothesis, along with what was already forming in my intestines.




Even though the law says to assume one is innocent until proven guilty, American society, whether by subconcious or concious influence, generally assumes that a person's guilty.



So then, as my movements began to quicken, so did my thoughts. The reasons I came up with?




1. The Media

Now, let me be clear here: although I have a few quibbles with the media, by no means is it their direct fault that I sat on this porcelain soapbox and was biased towards a guilty verdict. They have a residual effect on it, sure, but it isn't born from ignorant or malicious intent. You see, solely by doing their jobs, they contributed towards this bias.

How? Well, when kidnappings, murders, rapes, extortions, and other incidents happen, which they seem to do increasingly, the media's job is to report on it. And, more often than not, the case ends with the defense being guilty.In fact,combing through my (admittedly small) backlog of high-profile court cases, I can't think of a single case where the defense was declared innocent (excluding a single case that I won't talk about here involving a person named after a certain drink derived from citrus fruits. I think, along with several other people, that that case is as valid as what kind of conditioner my great aunt's second cousin used on the second day in January, 1987.).

As such, we are pre-conditioned by example to assume a guilty verdict in a case.

2. People Who Sue Over Video Games, French Fries, Coffee, and Apendages in Mexican Dishes Are Stupid, Usually.

It's hard to take people who sue seriously any more, after all of the above. Even people who do sue for legitimate reasons, such as this guy, are clumped with the loonies and the money-hungry vultures of society.

As such, even though our justice system is fair on paper, and certainly fairer than other countries', it's still flawed by the human element. So, here's my non-rhetorical question of the day: If the flaws in our justice system are real, how do we fix them?

Well, I'm feeling a little flushed. I hope you felt moved by this post, and not bowled over by it. Seat-er, see, you later.

SIDENOTE: 1st official Pedal-With-Pete board meeting in 3-ish hours! Woot!

Tomato


Friday, January 8, 2010

Juiced! Episode One (1/8/10)

On this episode of Juiced!...

We discuss terrorism, talk shows, the reality of disibility, "booty-ism", and Google.



Leave feedback in comments!
Tomato

This Is One Of Those General Boring Status Updates....

So, let's get to it!



1. I'm working on my first two And Those Who Read reviews of the year. No school today, so headway on that front is very possible. VERY POSSIBLY POSSIBLE!



2. Thanks to reader and all-around-awesome technology-ninja Jmill for helping me embed the audio files. He gets a cookie!



3. Speaking of... here's how I'll implement the audio into the blog. I'll have some posts, like Juiced! and special reviews and a top-secret-new-thing-around-March-ish be exclusively audio. There's really no work-around of that, other than writing audio transcripts, which would mean that each post would take twice as long. So, I'm not doing that. But wait for the good news! I've tried to make it so that audio and text are balanced, and neither eclipsed the other. Here's the plan. In several textual posts, I'll have what you'll come to know as an ABC at the bottom. ABC=Audio Bonus Content. This'll be a 5-10 min. expansion on an offshoot of whatever I talk about in the post. You'll see what I mean.



4. Also working on reformatting Juiced!.



5. I may be posting less frequently come Februrary/March. No, it's not surgery this time! ;) I've received the role of FDR in my school's production of Annie. It's been a blast so far, but it's BUSY. I'll try to keep up with the schedule I'll talk about in the next bullet point, but no promises.



6. SCHEDULE



Monday: And Those Who Read on applicable days.

Tuesday: None

Wednesday: Maybe the occassional Webgame Wednesday.

Thursday: None

Friday: Juiced!

Saturday: News Post

Sunday: ScratchPad



7. Question: What do you not like about science fiction? What would you like to see from it in the future?

That covers it. I'll see you later today for Juiced! Episode One.

Tomato

Saturday, January 2, 2010

James Cameron's Avatar: Full-Length Audio Review

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=OAGXMM40

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=OAGXMM40

You need to Windows Media Player, Quicktime, or another like-abled program to play this file. You probably already do.I super-double-triple-mega that this won't harm your computer.

On this special audio edition of Tomato's Ripe Thoughts....

I team up with my dear old dad to review James Cameron's Avatar.

Among the topics discussed are...

Was Avatar good?
Will Avatar translate well to DVD, and does it really matter?
Is Avatar animation?
What constitutes "adult" animation?
Should we steal Sam Worthington's TV?

Leave feedback in the comments. If you haven't already, downlaod my first podcast in the post below this one.

Thanks,
Tomato

Friday, January 1, 2010

Project Pebblestorm Is Here!

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=BDVMNW54

You need to Windows Media Player, Quicktime, or another like-abled program to play this file. You probably already do.

I super-double-triple-mega that this won't harm your computer.

On this episode of Juiced!:

We count down the top five news stories of 2009 as I stumble through making my first podcast.

Leave feedback in the comments. What did I do well on? What do I need to work on? Would you like to see more things in an audio format?

HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Tomato